I am in such misery – the weight of it all is too much. When everything was ok, and I had all I needed, I had no reason to complain. How can I go through all this without something to help make it bearable? What good am I? I am not in any state to be of help to anyone. The things I did were never done in my strength, but in the strength of the Lord, and if His hand is now against me, what good am I?

You were supposed to be my friends, but when the heat is turned up, when things look dark and get hard, your kindness is nowhere to be found. You’re ashamed of me, afraid of me, and disappointed in me through no fault of my own. I have asked nothing of you. I have not asked you to rescue me – but you seem to have all the answers! Teach me and I’ll be silent! Make me understand where I went wrong and how I’ve sinned. So, you reprove me – what good does that do me? There’s nothing to reprove!! Now, leave me alone before I do something I’ll regret, and I lose my vindication.

I’m fully able to discern where I went wrong and know if I did indeed do something to bring this suffering upon myself.